6#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5] BONUS POST!

{A CIIYF Production}

Author’s note: Because of the overwhelming feeling we got from the amount of feedback we got on the previous post, I thought it was only fair to give you guys a bonus post. So this post is specially dedicated to all those who liked, read, and commented because without you guys, this blog would be useless.

Enjoy! 2bce6e29-8a64-4e23-b165-5e83fdaacb4a

Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

Tas: Nusi…
Tas: Are you awake?
Tas: I can’t sleep…
Tas: Please be awake.
Tas: I’m feeling terrible.
Tas: I don’t really know exactly why.
Tas: Well actually… I do.
Tas: It’s because I feel like a terrible friend right now.
Tas: I guess I just don’t want to get you over the moon about it and then maybe his parents end up saying no…
Tas: Then you hate me…
Tas: And blame me for starting all this in the first place.
Tas: Maybe I’m just over thinking this whole thing…
Tas: Let’s just wait to see what his parents say.
Tas: But I just want you to remember
Tas: It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (Qur’an 2:216)
Tas: Whatever is best is what will happen In-Sha-Allah
Tas: Ok… I think I’m done now. Sweet dreams.

17 messages Sadeekun! SEVENTEEN!!!

Me: O..M..G!
Me: You’re PMS’ing aren’t you? Coz SOMETHING has to be wrong with you for you to think it’s normal to message people at this hour.
Me: At like… Half past 4 in the morning you want to talk to me about this?!
Me: There is still A WHOLE HOUR left before fajr! And you know how much this one hour means to the body builders who have to lift blankets when azaan goes.
Me: You’re crazy woman!
Tas: I love you don’t I? Nothing can be crazier than that…
Me: You know… If I didn’t love you back, I would’ve blocked you already.
Tas: Well then, I don’t know how you’re going to put up with Riaz because IF he does marry you… That’s a whole nuda level of crazy!
Me: What?!
Me: I have no words for you… Who would say you’re an APA?!
Tas: …Go sleep woman!

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5#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}
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Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

When Mum took the phone from Raeesa and held it to her ear, I was expecting the worst. I thought this was it… Dad was finally fired. I looked at Mum with a blank expression on my face. All she kept saying was, “Ok… Uh huh… I see… Alright”. I was so anxious to know what was going on that I even started signing to mum while she was on the phone, she hates that! Usually she would yell at me to stop it and leave her alone coz she is on a call, but this time, she turned me around and sent me out the room, closing the door behind her.

I can’t stand all this uncertainty. On the one hand it’s dad’s job and on the other, it’s this whole marriage thing with… With… that ‘guy’?

I sighed and sat back down at my table, trying to finish my marking to get my mind off wanting to harass Tasneem and Mum for answers. My mind drifted off when I started thinking about how much of my life I spend marking and planning and teaching and marking some more. If you really think about it, teachers sacrifice their lives for the futures of their students, yet they are so unappreciated.

I quickly snapped out of my depressing thoughts when I heard my phone go all crazy on me. It was Tasneem.

Tas: Nusiiii
Tas: Wake up!
Tas: He replied!
Tas: I hope to God you aren’t sleeping!
Tas: I can’t contain my emotions right now!
Tas: Wake up woman!
Tas: NUSAYBAH!!!
Tas: DON’T MAKE ME COME THERE AND DRAG YOU OUT OF BED MYSELF!!!!

As silly as this sounds, Tasneem’s chats scare me sometimes. In real life she might be this sweet and innocent Apa, but over chat… Hmph… This chick is a GANGSTA!!! She WILL murder you with those exclamations and caps lock of hers…

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4#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}
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Habibi Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

It was such a fine morning today Sadeekun, I actually woke up early today because I had big plans to go check out uncle Ismail’s site. I can literally see it going real easy cuz cmon saadikun, how hard can renovating be? I grinned foolishly all morning, and cleaned my flat out, yes Sadeekun, cleaning! Not just wiping down with a towel, but actual soapy sudsy kind of cleaning. The one I would never let my friends see lol, or they’d call me an aunty with an itch!! I got quizzical glances all morning, because of my bounding enthusiasm. I even helped a granny from the building across to cross the road, I considered that my good deed for the day, so I wouldn’t feel guilty for missing fajr salah today.

As I headed towards the site, my stomach clenched with nerves, this was the first time I’d been given such a big responsibility, would I match up to it? I followed the directions uncle Ismail had given me and frowned in confusion when it lead me towards the industrial area of the city. How they were planning to run the shop amidst warehouses and factories was beyond me. Who would come this far out just to buy a few groceries at a cheaper price? Only a fool… That same money they would save on groceries will be pumped into their tanks to come out here. They might as well just buy from the local grocery store.

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4#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}

Author’s note: I know post is late, but like I said, I’m having some data issues at the moment but I hope the long post that I stayed up after midnight to write and post, makes up for the delay. Jazak-Allah for being so patient.

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Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

On the way to taaleem today, Tasneem kept shooting me furtive glances. When I returned her look, she smiled a little guiltily, went rosy and then looked away. I frowned in suspicion when it happened more than a few times. “Okay Nemo, spit it out.” I growled. Her eyes went wide and she shook her head a little too fast if you ask me. “It’s nothing.” She said.

I pushed and pushed but she wouldn’t budge. So I smiled knowingly, “What’s wrong? You got a girl crush on me?” I fluttered my eyes for the effect. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”, I told her. She giggled and shoved me away. “Eww Astaghfirullah, Stop it, we’re almost here. Now, did you make all the niyyats (intentions) of coming to taaleem?”

She was a master at distraction, I tell you Sadeekun. I smiled and we both rattled off the intentions one by one.

1. I am going for the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wataala.
2. I am going to rectify my mistakes.
3. I am going to meet my mahram sisters for the pleasure of the Almighty.
4. I am going to visit a sick person who might need my help or my prayer.
5. I am going with the intention of learning the deen of Islam.
6. I am going with the intention of i’tikaaf until I return home.
7. I am going to join the gathering of deen with the intention of practicing upon what I learn.
8. I am going with the intention of helping someone who might need my assistance.

The afternoon passed in almost a blur, and I invited Tasneem to come over for iftaar. I’ve only recently found out what a grave sin it is to not keep the missed fasts of Ramadhaan, so I’ve made my intention to start keeping them for all the ones I’ve missed over the years. Tasneem plays a big role in it though, even though her fasts have already been kept, she decided to be my fasting buddy so that I wouldn’t have to do it alone. It really makes a big difference when you know someone else is also fasting with you, even if they aren’t living in the same house as you.

We fast every Monday and Thursday so that Tasneem can keep it as a Sunnah fast and I just keep it as Qaza. Also, the space between days gives us time to work up some energy before fasting the next one. Mum even joins in now and then. She says we inspire her. Who knew? A small sincere act can go quite a long way, and I didn’t even have to preach about it.

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3#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}
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Habibi Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

I woke up to the sound of Mrs. Vermaak banging down my door. “Hold on… Hold on.”, I yelled, trying to make my way to the door through the obstacle course that had been created in my flat by the sleeping guys last night.

I felt like a bat when I opened the door and the light shed directly inside. We had been indoors all weekend, so you can imagine how my eyes rolled back into my head when I opened the door. Trying to peel my eyes open and look at the body corp lady, I listened as she went on ranting about the noise we made this weekend. “Do you know how many complaints I’ve gotten because of the racket you had made in these past 3 days? This is unacceptable!”, she scolded.

I stepped outside and pulled the door behind me so that the guys inside wouldn’t get disturbed by the noise this granny was making. “I understand. I’m so sorry. I truly am… My friends just came to say goodbye since I’m leaving work. And you know how hard it is to control a pack of wild guys.”, I told her. Her eyebrows raised right up in horror before she cleared her throat and said, “I wouldn’t know about that. Just please… Don’t let it happen again.”
“I won’t Mrs. Vermaak, thank you!”, I told her, throwing a million dollar morning smirk at the old lady. She sped away quickly, probably feeling uncomfortable at this point.

I turned around to go back inside and realised that the idiots inside had locked me out. “Damn! I should’ve known…”, I mumbled to myself. “Cumon bra! Open the door.”, I tried whispering through the key hole. I had just received a verbal warning from body corp, I wasn’t going to chance getting a written one. “Guys… Please man.” I pleaded, with my ear against the door, trying to figure out who was behind this stunt.

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3#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}
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Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

I’m really starting to worry about Daddy. He had been coming home stressed out everyday all week and he doesn’t seem to be enjoying work as much as he used to either. When he came home last night the table had already been set and Mum’s delicious chicken ukni was sitting perfectly in the middle. The aroma filled the house, making my tummy grumble. Before I knew it, I was already sitting at the table and waiting to dig in. “Wait for your father Nusaybah.”, Mummy scolded as I was just about to pinch a grain of rice from the bowl.

Mum was more of a lioness… She always gave Dad to eat first, then she would dish out for us and then finally scrape the bottom to dish out for herself. The only difference between us and a pride of lions were that we enjoyed sitting to eat together as a family. Last night was different though… Dad said he didn’t want to eat and went straight to bed. Mum followed him into the room to find out what was wrong while I sat awkwardly alone at the table.

I figured he was just not feeling too well, which usually meant that he didn’t have an appetite and could only eat soup, which meant that there was more food for me! A loud grumble in my tummy gave me permission to dig in while the adults were away. A nagging feeling kept telling me to go and find out what was going on, but I was too hungry to bother listening to it. Mum hadn’t come back out the room and when I was done eating, there was nothing holding me back from being the investigator that I usually am.

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2#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}

Habibi Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

The feeling of waking up to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks was amazing! I didn’t think that it was possible for me to live this lifestyle in my lifetime, but look at me now. I turned over onto my side and smiled as I gently touched the pillow next to me, imagining Naseerah smiling back at me.

After Nusaybah stomped on me and made me feel like a low-life who couldn’t live up to her standards, Naseerah made me truly realise my worth and turned me into a man. She believed in me when nobody else did and she pushed me to achieve my goals, and now that I am successful, it’s only fair that she gets a share in it. Now that my place is sorted out, I planned on asking her father for her hand in marriage, tonight. I even had to have him fit me into his schedule so that I could see him tonight.

I started off my morning routine stretching and getting up lazily, strolling to the bathroom to have some alone time with my most faithful servant who kisses my butt everyday to make me feel better, the gleaming white bowl of relief. As the cold pan sent shivers up my spine, I whipped out my phone to check all my notifications. I had a lot to go through because I was now quite popular on social media. To be honest, I started being more active on my social platforms by putting up pictures and commenting on peoples posts with the hope that Nusaybah would see it and burn. I’m not one for revenge, but I sure do want her to see that she threw away a precious stone, thinking it was a rock.

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2#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}
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Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

The sky was dull and the clouds were dark. I knew there was a storm coming on. “30 second rule.. 30 second rule.. 30 second rule.”, I chanted, reminding myself to act mature and take the necessary precautions during the storm.

I thought of Mr. Hutsan, our high school science teacher and tried to remember his words, “If the time between a lightning flash and the resulting thunder is 30 seconds or less, in other words, 9.7 km or less, get to shelter immediately.”

“Come on Nemo! Hurry!! The lightning is so close! 2 seconds would be… Uh… Around 650 metres I think.”, I grabbed her arm and tried to speed walk to my house.
“Relax! Just calm down!”, Tasneem replied casually.
“Calm down?! Oh Ok… Good afternoon mam. I will be the waiter tonight. How would you like me to serve you to your parents? Medium rare or well done?”

Tasneem chuckled like I was crazy. It was like she had no idea how dangerous the situation really was. We were outside in the open, surrounded by tall street lights, electrical wiring and trees, plus we were still 5 minutes away from home. We were practically begging to be struck by lightning.

“Nusi you know you’re only making it worse right?”, she raised an eyebrow.
“What are you talking about? I’m saving your life because YOU’RE certainly not worried about it.”, I scolded. I was panicking for the both of us!
“Holding me only increases the chances…”, she looked pointedly at the way I was holding her arm.
“Ok miss smarty pants… Let’s see how you get us home safely since you are the reason we are out here right now. I told you we should’ve left earlier but you didn’t listen.”, I let go of her arm and huffed.

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1# [THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

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Habibi Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

5 Months feel like a lifetime ago. Since then I’ve moved out of the hotel and found a flat to stay in here in Durban, focusing my energy into putting a home together for my bride to come home to the day I get married. My parents have been encouraging me to work on it while I’m still a bachelor because priorities change once you accept a second person into your life.

The flat is great and from the lounge window, I can actually see the beach. I would’ve loved to be able to own this place but for now, renting will do. Things seem to falling into place. My life finally feels like its getting back on track and I can honestly say that I’m happy.

If you saw me the night I returned from Nusaybah’s house, you would’ve thought I had lost my mind and that there was no hope for me.

**Flashback**

I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I tried my best to make this proposal a memorable one and boy was it! For all the wrong reasons thanks to Nusaybah.

To make things worse, Nusaybah has agreed to see other ‘potential suitors’. Yeah right! That’s just another word for wanting to see other guys. Window shopping they call it. I should’ve just listened to Umi. She warned me that Nusaybah would break my heart.

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1#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5]

{A CIIYF Production}
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Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

I couldn’t get much sleep last night. I kept tossing and turning and before I knew it, it was already around Tahajjud time. A voice in my head encouraged me to get up and make wudhu. I could just picture Tasneem recite the Hadith in which The Prophet (S.A.W) said,

“The Lord descends every night to the lowest heaven when one-third of the night remains and says: ‘Who will call upon Me, that I may answer Him? Who will ask of Me, that I may give him? Who will seek My forgiveness, that I may forgive him?’” [Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Of all the things I wanted, the biggest thing was His forgiveness. In these past few years I had lost who I was and I had lost sight of the true purpose I was put onto this earth, to worship Allah (S.W.T) alone. The more I thought about it, the more I realised how everything I had done so far was all to please everyone else and never for Allah. I was so ashamed but grateful at the same time that Allah has given me yet another chance to come back to Him. Even though my past mistakes have scarred me for life, they serve as a reminder to be grateful for Allah’s infinite mercy.

I didn’t bother putting the bathroom light on since there was enough light coming through from the passageway. With all the load shedding, I thought I’d take some small steps to help out from my side. As I lifted my sleeves to put my hand under the cool water, a faint glimmer of light from the passage bounced off the bracelet on my wrist, catching my eye.

I had gotten so used to wearing it, that it had become part of my life without me even realising it. I turned my wrist over and there it sat, the two charms ‘N’ and ‘S’ next to each other. Ironically, it sat on my radial artery used for checking pulse.

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