6#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5] BONUS POST!

{A CIIYF Production}

Author’s note: Because of the overwhelming feeling we got from the amount of feedback we got on the previous post, I thought it was only fair to give you guys a bonus post. So this post is specially dedicated to all those who liked, read, and commented because without you guys, this blog would be useless. 

Also, Since part of these posts are based on a true story, I’d like to hala at my characters of reality. You know who you are… so since you guys are pretty famous now, let me know what you guys think of how I related you’lls stories.

Lol… Enjoy!   
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Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

Tas: Nusi…
Tas: Are you awake?
Tas: I can’t sleep…
Tas: Please be awake.
Tas: I’m feeling terrible.
Tas: I don’t really know exactly why.
Tas: Well actually… I do.
Tas: It’s because I feel like a terrible friend right now.
Tas: I guess I just don’t want to get you over the moon about it and then maybe his parents end up saying no…
Tas: Then you hate me…
Tas: And blame me for starting all this in the first place.
Tas: Maybe I’m just over thinking this whole thing…
Tas: Let’s just wait to see what his parents say.
Tas: But I just want you to remember
Tas: It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (Qur’an 2:216)
Tas: Whatever is best is what will happen In-Sha-Allah
Tas: Ok… I think I’m done now. Sweet dreams.

17 messages Sadeekun! SEVENTEEN!!!

Me: O..M..G!
Me: You’re PMS’ing aren’t you? Coz SOMETHING has to be wrong with you for you to think it’s normal to message people at this hour.
Me: At like… Half past 4 in the morning you want to talk to me about this?!
Me: There is still A WHOLE HOUR left before fajr! And you know how much this one hour means to the body builders who have to lift blankets when azaan goes.
Me: You’re crazy woman!
Tas: I love you don’t I? Nothing can be crazier than that…
Me: You know… If I didn’t love you back, I would’ve blocked you already.
Tas: Well then, I don’t know how you’re going to put up with Riaz because IF he does marry you… That’s a whole nuda level of crazy!
Me: What?!
Me: I have no words for you… Who would say you’re an APA?!
Tas: …Go sleep woman!

You know Sadeekun… As much as I’d love to strangle her right now, I can’t see my life without her. She’s the sister I never had. I guess these crazy things just make this sister bond more real. I shut my eyes and fell right back to sleep. It felt like only a few minutes before I had to get up again for Fajr. It’s funny how, a power nap at school feels like half an hour but is only 3 minutes long, whereas a power nap at home feels like 3 minutes but in reality is 3 hours long.

After Fajr, I tried going back to sleep to enjoy the Saturday morning laze before having to get up and finish marking, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t fall off to sleep. I kept thinking about this whole Riaz thing. And then something hit me…

Me: OMG! Nemo! I totally forgot about something!
Me: My contract with the school!
Me: I can’t leave here until it’s complete!
Me: What do I do now?
Me: Tas! Read your messages!
Me: Read them right now!
Me: Nemooooo!!!!!
Me: Why does this not seem to work when done on you, but it always works when you do it to me?
Me: Tasneem Lambut!
Me: Read your phone right this instant!

half an hour later…

Tas: Ewww! Not Lambut! I don’t even like that fellow!
Tas: His surname alone is enough to make me want to run away.
Me: Lamb’s butt! 😂 😂 😂
Tas: *rolls my eyes* Who would say you’re a teacher? 
Tas: And F.Y.I, the reason why your million messages don’t work on me is because my phone stays on SILENT when I am sleeping. Smart isn’t it? 
Me: Bleh…
Tas: Anyway… regarding your dilemma…You can just tell him about that when you talk to him. This is sorta like a samoosa run… It’s not rocket science! You’ve been through how many already?
Me: Don’t remind me…
Me: Alright then, let’s just wait and see what happens. We chat later alright?

Tasneem now had me over thinking things. I needed to clear my mind. I thought about finishing the last of my marking, but I didn’t have the energy for it and I really needed a break from it. I decided to go downstairs to scratch in the fridge for something good to eat. I found Mum already up and busy with making everyone’s lunch.

“Assalaamu Alaikum Mum! You’re up early…” I told her.
“Wa Alaikum Salaam, just pass me the butter from the fridge please. Your father is going to leave in a bit.” She said, appearing to be in a rush.
“Why is he going so early?”
“Don’t ask me so many questions Nusaybah, my head is in a jumble at the moment.”
“O…k… “, I said, turning around slowly, not wanting to tick Mum off any further.

I had this weird craving for steaming hot butter-less DRY toast, I have NO idea why. I silently popped some bread in the toaster and grabbed a mug to make some tea in the meantime. It didn’t take long for my thoughts to travel back to Riaz. For some reason I was so excited, but so nervous at the same time. Was I afraid of being rejected? Or afraid that he would turn away after finding out about my condition. Why was I so attached to him without even knowing or even speaking to him as yet? Either he has a very lovable character OR Nemo just is really darn good at making him sound close to perfect.

Just as I was at the climax of my thoughts, the toaster popped and scared the crap out of me! I nearly spilled my tea! If there is one thing that has consistently frightened me to my core all my life without ever getting old, it would be that damn toaster! I still play the game sometimes where I occasionally try and stand in front of the toaster and try not to be startled when it pops up.
Your mind starts to wander and before you know it…
“Wha PAH!”
Untitled
I haven’t won yet.

Mum couldn’t stop laughing. I don’t know if it was at the fact that I almost fell off my chair while holding hot tea or that I got frightened for a toaster. “Hmmmm, Nusaybah. I needed that. I don’t know when last I laughed like this.” Mum told me. I just smiled and shook my head at how silly I was.

While I waited for my tea to cool, I grabbed my phone to just browse for a bit. Why wasn’t I shocked that I had tons of notifications, all of which were from Tasneem.

Tas: Guess what?!
Tas: His parents gave their blessing for you two to go ahead and discuss.
Tas: So now what do you want to do?
Tas: He is waiting for you to decide on how to go forward with this.
Tas: And wants to do this in the most halal way possible… So…
Tas: How do you want to do this?
Tas: What should I tell him?
Tas: I’m going to miss call you to wake up now.

5 Miss Calls from Tasneem…

Tas: Aaaaaand…. You’re still sleeping
Tas: Ai yai yai
Me: OMW! Tas you’ve REALLY got to stop doing this. You’re going to make my phone die young.
Me: If you ever decide on opening a match making company, please don’t forget to add ‘reserves the right to message you at all odd hours and probably murder your phone in the process’ under the terms and conditions section.
Tas: Sorry! *Can’t watch* I’m just so excited!
Me: I was busy seeing Dad off. I’m back now.
Me: I want to know more about his condition… The Internet was not very helpful. I read 3 sites with 3 different explanations. 
Tas: Ok, you can ask him that yourself. Should I make a group?
Me: I don’t know… Maybe ask him what he thinks?
Tas: I can’t keep copying and pasting messages between the two of you… I feel its easiest to just make a group… And if your mum is cool with it, I’ll copy her in too. At least she can ask questions. 
Tas: And I’ll ask him if he wants to add his Mum too. Then she can ask you lol
Tas: Then I’ll exit.
Tas: Wakeeeeee up!!!!!!!!
Me: Lol I’m awake long ago woman. Give me a minute to eat something.
Me: Mum can’t be in the group, she doesn’t have a phone at the moment.
Tas: Oh dear… Don’t you have a spare phone for mum?
Me: Nope.
Tas: Oh dear…
Tas: Well he is online now… So talk fast. What next?
Tas: Nusi!
Tas: NUSAYBAH!!!
Tas: You need a mahram for the group.
Tas: Will your bro be willing to be in the group with just two of you?
Tas: You better not be in the toilet…
Tas: And if you’re bathing or something I’m going to screeeeeeeaaaaaam. Who baths so early on a Saturday anyway?!
Tas: It’s so hard to have you both online at the same time… This is almost impossible
Tas: He said if you don’t want your bro there, he can add his 16 year old sister, you know… so that there is a third person instead of shaitaan being the third.
Me: No no no definitely not bro. You met my bro, you know what a nut he is. With the moods he has been in lately, I don’t trust him one bit. 
Tas: Well then… think of something fast and let me know. I’m going to go and have breakfast in the meantime.

“What’s on your mind? You don’t seem like you’re here completely. Is something bugging you.” Mum asked in a curious tone after seeing me scrambling my brains while staring questionably into space.
“Well… not really something. Ok something, but not something like SOMETHING. It’s just … something. You know what I mean?” I rambled, Mum gave me a blank stare.
“Explain… In ENGLISH this time.” Mum ordered.

In that moment I felt like I could just be open and honest with her, so I began explaining everything. From my fears about the contract with the school, to my fear of rejection because of my medical condition. Mum listened quietly, just nodding her head every now and then but when I began telling her about my nerves and excitement, she just burst in flames! And to think, I hadn’t even gotten to the part about my dilemma as yet…
“You’re still going ahead with it?! I thought you were going in a whole different direction with this.”
“What do you mean?”
“You need to focus on your studies and your work. You don’t need some boy as a distraction right now.”
“But it won’t be, we just going to ask each other a few questions and that’s it.”
“Lead him on? Then what? You’ll will run into the sunset with each other? Life isn’t that simple. I don’t want you getting involved with anything right now. I don’t even want you to think about it!”
“But Mum…You’ll were bringing guys home for proposals not so long ago, all of which were idiots but now when I have a shot at something real, you don’t want me to go ahead with it? I don’t understand…”
“There is so much going on right now. I don’t want you to have anything to do with this boy… or any boy right now for that matter.”
“BUT WHY?? Whatever is happening right now is a test from Allah. We need to be strong. It shouldn’t stop us from living. Don’t you want me to be happy?”
“Happy?? The last boy I let you bring home made you very happy didn’t he?”
“Really Mum? You going to pick on that now? Is this really about boys in general or is this because THIS boy in particular has a medical condition?”
“Enough Nusaybah! You haven’t even spoken to this boy as yet and already you’ve lost all your respect. I said NO and that is FINAL!”

She just stormed off Sadeekun, leaving me sitting there, broken. It wasn’t long before I felt tears stroll down my eyes. Why was she doing this to me? Why all of a sudden? I started feeling stupid and so so guilty for getting everyone involved, only for things to end this way. Imagine what Riaz’s parents will think of me. The last thing I’d wanted was to make Riaz look like an even bigger fool than I am in front of his family. I needed Nemo…
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Me: … something just happened with Mum.
Me: I think it’s the stress
Tas: What?
Me: Suddenly she’s not so happy about the idea.
Tas: Are you serious???
Me: I tried to make her see it my way but she’s adamant. She says no, not at all, I mustn’t even think about it.
Tas: Mustn’t think about what?
Me: Mustn’t think about marriage, mustn’t talk to anyone, mustn’t even lead them on in anyway.
Tas: Oh no…
Me: I tried to tell her we just want to talk she said no she’s not happy about that. She doesn’t want me getting involved in anything.
Tas: But just now she said it was fine… What’s going on?
Tas: Tell mummy he not looking to date…
Tas: Just questions about you. Maybe in future for marriage… But not dating.
Me: Like I said I think it’s the stress about Dad and his whole job thing.
Tas: It’s a test from Allah.
Me: I know that, I told Mum it’s a test and we have to be strong but it’s not working.
Tas: So then… What do we do now?
Me: She’s just so angry today. I feel so terrible coz he already told his parents…
Tas: Just tell me what to tell him.
Me: I don’t know… I know he wanted permission from my parents as well and I can’t lie or I would’ve just lied about the whole thing.
Me: And now Mum is angry with me as well.
Tas: I’m so sorry.
Tas: This is all my fault.
Me: No it’s not! It’s my fault I got my hopes up… I always do and then bad things happen.
Me: I’m the one that was interested.
Me: It’s my fault. I told you to tell him all those things
Tas: You still have permission from dad don’t you?
Me: I just have to wait now. I have this nagging feeling that Mum is gonna say something to Dad that’ll change his mind too.
Tas: He has a sister and her name is Aafiyah. She is 16 years old and he is waiting for her to wake up so he can ask her to join the group for him. What do I tell him?

Of all things, this had to happen to me. Imagine if Riaz now hates me for making him look like a fool? I don’t know why, but I actually do care about what he thinks. It’s weird, I know. I guess, there is still always the chance that we wouldn’t have hit it off anyway.

Me: Omg this is all my fault this is all my fault 😭😭😭
Tas: Noooooooooo
Tas: Ok see here… Do you want to just turn him down? 
Me: I don’t want to, but the way things are going… especially with Mum being in such an ugly mood… ugh I just want to die.
Me: Nemo I want to go pray salaah. I feel like I need to right now.
Tas: I’m so proud of you, go ahead. Allah will guide you to what is best.
Me: In the meantime, I know what you should tell him…

I softly recited a dua to give me courage to step forward…

Oh Allah! Grant me the strength to oppose myself, the courage to face my weakness, the conviction to accept my faith, the satisfaction to relax my mind, and the understanding to reassure my heart.

If I had to let go of him, I’d rather have him be the one to push me away. I don’t want him to ever feel that he was rejected because of his condition because honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. In fact, although I’ve never spoken to him, he has touched my heart in a very different kind of way. I respect both him and his family, so I just had to do it…

Oh Allah, don’t let my weak heart get attached with what’s not mine.

I read that one last Dua before telling Tasneem to tell him both about my contract with the school and me not being able to leave, and also, most importantly, about my medical condition. His response had me crying streams…

Nusaybah


Riaz POV

Something strange and so surreal happened to me in such a short period of time.Where do I begin?

Friday’s are usually family days, we actually call it “Dadi’s day” because we all get together at her place to spend the day. Mum makes dishes to take along and Kaki makes a few dishes of her own. We always end up having such a feast, so we really look forward to the end of each week. This Friday in particular had me a little happier than usual, for a reason that I least expected.

Whenever the family is all together, we always end up talking until late without realising the time. My CRPS kicked in, I guess from the chill that was in the air that night, and since Dadi lives on the same premises as us, I decided to take a slow walk home to retire a little early. The pain gets so intense at times, so I really have to take it easy. Aafiyah was sweet enough to assist me. Well…  at least that’s what she wants everyone else to think, I know the real reason was just to get out of helping clean up.

Since we have a rule that nobody is allowed to be on their phones during family time, my phone was switched off completely, all day long. So before going to bed, I decided to check my messages to see if there was any urgent or important work that I needed to attend to.

Among my notifications were messages from Sister Tasneem, whom I have to work with (along with a few other administrators) on a youth project. I assumed the messages were about the web design but it didn’t make sense since she usually messaged in the group where everyone could read it. Chatting one on one is strictly not allowed, and she was the one who insisted it always be that way. My curiosity got the better of me and I opened the chat to see what it was about…

Sis Tasneem: Assalaamu-Alaikum
Sis Tasneem: I’m so sorry for messaging you privately… But it’s for a good reason. I needed to talk to you about that friend of mine that I told you about.
Sis Tasneem: I hope you’re not going to be mad at me. But anyway… This is the first time I’ve ever done this, so Uh… Ok really… Please don’t be mad. 
Sis Tasneem: I spoke to my friend and even showed her the video you sent me. I also told her what you said, and despite all of that, she seems interested.
Sis Tasneem: I don’t know if you’d like to talk to her maybe? I could make a group.
Sis Tasneem: But also I don’t want you to feel pressured into something you don’t want to do. She’s a pretty girl though and she can tell you more about herself and stuff. But only if you would be interested as well.

I had to read the messages twice to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, and then once more to make sure that I was reading it right. Was this really a proposal for a proposal? I took a few minutes to type out an appropriate response. I didn’t want to sound overly enthusiastic as in desperate, and neither did I want them to think that I wasn’t interested.

Me: Wa-alaikumus-salaam, Wow Sister Tasneem, Really No Need To Be So Apologetic And All Lol, I’m Really Not That Kind Of Guy That Gets Mad So Easily (If EVER Lol), Especially Over Someone Simply Just Sincerely Trying To Help Someone Else Out Masha-Allah, Totally Understand Your Concern For Your Friend :)
Regarding The Answer, Would It Be Alright If I Discuss It With My Parents And Get Back To You By The End Of The Weekend In-sha-Allah? The Last Thing I’d Want Is For Them To Be In The Dark Over All This (Yes, I’m VERY Much A Parents-Boy Pretty Much Lol). I Personally Love To ALWAYS Keep In Mind, Keeping It All Halaal (AT LEAST) Is VERY Important.
Jazak-Allah So Much For Your Concern Once Again.
Last But Not Least, Please Let Me Know If You Think It Will Be Alright, Especially For Her, If I Discuss This Situation With My Parents First…

My thoughts of wanting to go to bed quickly disappeared when all I could think about was how I was going to tell my parents. When I heard some rattling in the kitchen, I figured that Mum was home, and so I strolled on over to kitchen to talk to her. I knew what I needed to do but I couldn’t find the right words. Every time I opened my mouth, no words would come out. I guess I was shy to just say it right out. I mean, it’s not everyday that a girl who doesn’t know you, takes an interest in you.

I filled a glass with water from the water dispenser and drank it to buy me some time to come up with a line on how to start this rare conversation. I’ve never, in all my life, ever had a girl friend or anything of that sort, so I didn’t have any experience what so ever in breaking news like this to my parents. “Uh… Mum, there’s something very important I need to talk to you and Dad about.”, I began. She stopped packing the food away and turned around to look at me. With that one line, I was able to get her full attention. “What’s this about?”, she smiled at me, raising an eyebrow curiously. She knew I wasn’t the naughty type, so she was more inquisitive rather than worried. Just as I was about to continue, Aafiyah, the nosy bugger she is, stepped in, wanting to know who we were gossiping about.

“I will tell you’ll in the morning In-Sha-Allah. I need to get some rest for now because this pain hasn’t gone away as yet.” I said, pinching Aafiyah playfully before leaving the kitchen. Of course it was returned with a tug on my hair, but we laughed about it. Aafiyah and I are actually quite close. Being the only siblings of the house makes it rather impossible not to be! Mum gave me a comforting and assuring smile to let me know that she understood that I couldn’t talk in front of Aafiyah at that moment.

After making Wudhu for Fajr, Mum was waiting by the bathroom door and told me that I have to tell them about it right then, because Aafiyah was still sleeping and that was the best time. So I went to their room, and started off on a light note by saying, “So there’s this girl…”. I quickly told them that I was kidding when I saw that Mum was about to take out her mental exam pad that had 101 questions written all over it.

I explained to them about the initial proposed idea by Sister Tasneem, my concerns I had regarding why I didn’t feel I should accept it, followed by the message all of a sudden a week or two later in which Sister Tasneem  said she actually went and told ‘her friend’ about the concerns and that her friend is actually fine with all of them. “So what do you guys think should be the way forward?” I finally asked, sucking in a breathe and hoping for the best. This was the part where I was going to be hit by the question train, but surprisingly, they were actually very calm and professional about it all. I told them that I’d want Aafiyah to be the one to monitor proceedings and report to them just to keep it all Halaal as well, so they told me to go ahead, and I had their blessings and trust on the matter.

My reaction? Well…

Me: Assalamu-Alaikum, Sorry For Messaging So Early, But Personally Thought It’s Obviously Better That As Soon As Strides Are Made In Such A Delicate Matter, It’s Better To Discuss Them As Soon As Possible, Especially With The Fact That Part Of The Future Of This Whole Situation Depends On Such Crucial Responses And Approvals.
So, Parents On My Side Have Given The Green Light, And Their Blessings, To Go Ahead And Open Up Discussions To Get To Know Her Better Alhamdulillah.
Once The Answer Comes From Her Side Now, We Can Discuss On How Best To Go About The Next Step, And All Ones After That As Well Of course Eventually, In The Most Halaal Way Possible In-sha-Allah…

It was nice in a way to get all that off my chest, but now the wait for a response was going to be a hard one. I just had to keep my brain occupied in the meantime. I decided to prep my worksheets for the afternoon. Yes, I’m a madressah tutor from 3:30pm to 6pm. The CRPS limits me as to what I can do, but in today’s world, almost everything can be done from home, which is quite convenient for me.

By the time I was done with prepping, I was in the mood to get things done, so I decided to start working on some web designs for the youth project. As soon as I was really getting into it, my phone buzzed,

Sis Tasneem: Wa-Alaikum-Salaam
Sis Tasneem: Her mum and dad said it’s fine as long as they’re constantly updated about what’s happening.
Sis Tasneem: Soooo…. What is the way forward now? Should I make a group and copy in both you’lls mums so that they may ask questions too… Or?
Me: Well, as a personal opinion, from whatever little Islamic Knowledge I know, the person who has to be the ‘third party’ in whatever the conversations may need to take place between us needs to be a Mahram right?
Sis Tasneem: Yep… So I can tell her to add her bro then you’ll talk?
Me: Hmm, was just about to suggest that, I have a younger sister, Aafiyah (16), as well if she may not be comfortable with her brother being there…
Sis Tasneem: I’m guessing that she would prefer your sister as her bro is older than her… But let’s see what she says. 
Me: Jazakallah-Khair For All This, Much Appreciated :)
Sis Tasneem: Don’t thank me yet though… I don’t want to get either of you’lls hopes up .. And I’m hoping that no matter what happens… It won’t become an issue.
Sis Tasneem: If you know what I’m trying to mean…
Sis Tasneem: Like I hope that the two of you don’t hold it against me if things don’t work out… Which I hope doesn’t happen In-Sha-Allah but Allah has His plans.
Me: Yes totally understand and respect that, but what I personally feel I can’t thank you enough for is the CONCERN showed Masha-Allah.
Me: I personally know for a fact I ain’t going to hold anything against you if things don’t materialize in the peaceful and amicable way we all wish for, especially because of your kind thoughts and excitement you’ve been having and showing throughout Masha-Allah :)
Sis Tasneem: :) Well in that case…You’re welcome!

It was a long time after that before any messages came through. I assumed that it was because we were waiting on her friend. Feeling anxious, I remembered a Dua we used to read at Darul Uloom during the days we would do hifz.

O Allah, make the Qur’aan the life of my heart, the light of my chest, a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety. O Allah, teach us from it that which we do not know and remind us from it of that which we have forgotten, for You are the All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

So I took out my Qur’an and began reading from it to refresh my memory. As a Hafiz, I try my best to make sure I go over at least 10 pages per day.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The likeness of the one who memorizes the Qur’aan is that of the owner of a hobbled camel. If he tends to it regularly, he will keep it, but if he lets it go, he will lose it.” (al-Bukhaari, 5031).

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said in al-Fath (9/79), in his commentary on this hadeeth: so long as one constantly reviews it, what one has memorized will remain, as is the case with a camel, if it remains hobbled, you will keep it. The camel was singled out here because it is the most likely of domesticated animals to run away, and if it does run away, recapturing it is very difficult.

Just as I completed the chapter and closed my Quran, A message came through.

Sis Tasneem: There’s a few major things you need to know about her.
Sis Tasneem: I felt it wasn’t my place to say, but it’s eating at her and she insists that I tell you.
Me: Go On..
Sis Tasneem: Well… She is working as a school teacher and she signed a 2 year contract that expires in 2017, so she can’t leave before that. If you’ll were to marry… She wouldn’t be able to leave her hometown for good until then.
Sis Tasneem: The other thing… I really feel isn’t my place to say but I have no choice in the matter. She insists I tell you now before taking things any further.
Sis Tasneem: There is a possibility that she won’t be able to have any children.
Sis Tasneem: So… Well… I don’t know what to say…
Sis Tasneem: I’d like you to be very honest though… With no pressure at all coz if you can’t see your life without children, then I would rather save her from getting to know you and taking a liking because it will just be harder.
Sis Tasneem: At least right now.. You’ll don’t even know each other so if you’ll want to stop it right away… It won’t be a biggy.

I truly hope that Sister Tasneem finds a husband who can keep up with her because she really is just like a train that never stops. She barely gives her passengers a chance to get off for a stop, before taking off again. It’s actually quite funny if we take away the seriousness of the matter…

Me: Wow, Interesting, In Regards To The Teacher Part, As It Is, We’ve Been Blessed With Having So Many Teachers In Our Family Alhamdulillah, Mum, Dadi, My Two Kakis, Just To Name A Few DIRECT Relatives.
Me: At Least Then It’ll Give Me More Of An Excuse To Visit The Country That I Love More In-sha-Allah Lol 😋
Sis Tasneem: So you’ve been to SA before?
Me: Been To SA MANY times Alhamdulillah, was even studying Aalim classes in Darul-Uloom Zakariyyah there from 2012 to 2014 before having to pull out indefinitely because of the CRPS issue, but yhea, it’s a case of them (the administration and all) having told me that whenever I’m ready to come back, they’ll welcome me with open arms because of the amazing relationship I had with them there Alhamdulillah
Sis Tasneem: Masha-Allah… So uh… About the second issue, she wanted me to explain her condition to you.
Sis Tasneem: PLEASE forgive me for this if it’s too much info. I’m just the copier and ‘paster’ *can’t watch*
She sent this: For the past 6 years my cycle has been on and off. I went to doctors to find out if anything was wrong but they said it’s nothing to worry about and if I ever want kids I’ll have to take medication to help the process BUT my body is not producing eggs so there’s a huge possibility that I won’t be able to conceive even if I am on medication for it … because of this my hormones are a tad bit unbalanced sometimes.
Sis Tasneem: It’s not going to break her heart if you say that children is something that you really was looking forward to. She’s a tough girl. Plus it’s not like you two are dating or something and you just found out something horrid about her and dumped her….. So go ahead….. Speak your mind and feel free.
Sis Tasneem: Just comment without feeling bad about it.
Sis Tasneem: Or sorry for her…

Again with the rambling…
But nonetheless, I was actually quite touched that her friend was so honest and willing to disclose such a personal condition with me, without even knowing me that much as yet.

Me: My CRPS started after just a simple ankle sprain whilst playing squash in December 2010. It’s basically a ‘chronic’ situation which means the pain is always there, now it’s just a case of trying to control whatever generally makes it worse, more efficiently. Even though there is no definite medication for this syndrome, Alhamdulillah the Strides and improvements that have been made here on my side have been MASSIVE over the past year.
Me: So about her condition, my personal way of looking at it, obviously not scientific or anything Lol, is that if I am able to go beyond what doctors say I can do, I feel, as long as she has someone to accept her for that, and respect/appreciate her regardless, that in itself could be the motivation the body may need to help her produce whatever may be required to help with reproduction, and I’m MORE than willing to be that kind of a person, no matter the eventual result, especially with it being the least I can do to help a fellow Muslimah who’s willing to accept ME with the condition I have. Make sense?
Sis Tasneem: Woah…. Subhan-Allah
Sis Tasneem: I have no words.
Me: Not literally FELLOW Muslimah of course Lol, meant a fellow Muslim, but yhea, sure you understand that lol 
Sis Tasneem: Lol…
Sis Tasneem: I’ll let her know…
Sis Tasneem: Since you’re such an honest person, I’m just going to be straight with you. The reason why she decided to tell you all this now, was because something had come up... And I really hope you don’t feel bad about it.

I wasn’t sure what to think at this point… but since I’m positive by nature, I told myself that whatever it was, was for the best.

Sis Tasneem: She asked to hold on with the group thing.Yesterday her parents were totally fine with it… But today with the stress of the fact that her Dad’s job is on the line, her mother got really upset with her and took off with her. 
Me: Oh my… Wow, Inna-Lillahi-Wa-Inna-Ilayhi-Raajioon, very sorry to hear about her situation, SINCERELY Hope Allah makes it easy for her and her family.
Me: Would happily put ALL plans on hold for such a tough situation, it won’t be fair on her at all to pursue anything further with a situation of that significance.
Sis Tasneem: She can’t believe that you are such a nice and sweet person and she’s so glad you understand, she feels like a witch right now… Her words not mine.
Sis Tasneem: And she’s feeling very bad that her Mum is going back and forth. She really doesn’t want you to feel like she is playing games, But this job thing with her Dad just happened at such a horrible time. Anyway, all Allah’s plan.
Me: Like I said, whatever I’m saying is the LEAST she deserves, obviously would have wished to be more proactive about it, but yhea, wouldn’t be too appropriate right now that would it.
Me: But anyway, Totally understand. Please tell her not to worry about all this right now and to try and get back to a more positive/proactive mindset in-sha-Allah.
Sis Tasneem: She has, and she’s going to try and speak to her Mum once more. Make Dua.
Me: In-Sha-Allah.

I left it at that and went on to do my morning exercises. After about an hour, my phone buzzed…

Sis Tasneem: Alhumdulilah… Her mother has just agreed.
Sis Tasneem: So whenever you are ready… Let me know.

It was almost like someone sent me the news of the moon being sighted for Eid. All that was left now was to let Aafiyah in on the deal and then it was show time!

Riaz

>>> Hope you guys enjoyed the extra long post. Let me know what you’ll thought of it!

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The Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not right for any one of you to say, ‘I have forgotten such and such.’ On the contrary, he has been made to forget. Try to review the Qur’aan, for it is more likely to escape from men’s hearts than camels.” (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 5032).

Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath (9/81): Ibn Battaal said, This hadeeth is in accordance with the two aayahs (interpretation of the meanings):

‘Verily, We shall send down to you a weighty Word’ [al-Muzzammil 73:5]

and

‘And We have indeed made the Qur’ân easy to understand and remember’ [al-Najm 54:17]

So whoever strives to memorize it and recite it regularly, it will be made easy for him, and whoever turns away from it, will lose it.

NB: Just because Tasneem’s intentions are clean, doesn’t make it right for her to be doing what she is… Watch this space to see what happens next<<<

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13 thoughts on “6#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER- Season 5] BONUS POST!

  1. Awesome
    جزاك الله خيرا و احسن الجزاء to the admins
    Always bring us wonderful diary entries

    And before reading the N.B. part at the end of the diary I honestly felt that it possibly one of the ways to mend two hearts

    But will watch the space to see What happens next
    Can’t wait……

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Super duper amazing writing as always 💖💖

    Tasneem and her messages 😂😂 defo wud have blocked her by now lol!

    Riaz sounds like a dream 😍🙊 I wonder if there’s a real version of him 🤔😛lol

    Awsum post! Can’t wait for more 👌🏼💖🙆🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol well… He is totally real and he totally exists! He he… Jazak-Allah so much for reading! Feedback totally made my day! So excited to get started with the next episode now…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awesome post! جزاك الله خيرا for the super long post..guys like Riaz r rare,hope it works out between him n nusaybah..n whoever real-life Riaz’s wife is,is 1 lucky girl lol..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was the hardest post to read and yet so perfect. Jazakallah so much Admin; I love my little sister “Tasneem” soooooo much!
    PS: the real Tasneem sends about 10 times more texts to get your attention. And she threatens your life as well … lol ;P

    Liked by 1 person

  6. @ayah… No haven’t missed it but it it will be revealed soon In-Sha-Allah

    @Nusaybah Jazak-Allah to feedback! Hope I’m doing justice to your story!

    Like

  7. Tasneem and Riaz would make a cute couple <3
    Ohhh wow, can't have kids… That's so sad (May Allah S.W.T grant all those women who desire kids but cannot conceive complete shifaa. Ameen)

    Like

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