Habibati Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)
When Mum took the phone from Raeesa and held it to her ear, I was expecting the worst. I thought this was it… Dad was finally fired. I looked at Mum with a blank expression on my face. All she kept saying was, “Ok… Uh huh… I see… Alright”. I was so anxious to know what was going on that I even started signing to mum while she was on the phone, she hates that! Usually she would yell at me to stop it and leave her alone coz she is on a call, but this time, she turned me around and sent me out the room, closing the door behind her.
I can’t stand all this uncertainty. On the one hand it’s dad’s job and on the other, it’s this whole marriage thing with… With… that ‘guy’?
I sighed and sat back down at my table, trying to finish my marking to get my mind off wanting to harass Tasneem and Mum for answers. My mind drifted off when I started thinking about how much of my life I spend marking and planning and teaching and marking some more. If you really think about it, teachers sacrifice their lives for the futures of their students, yet they are so unappreciated.
I quickly snapped out of my depressing thoughts when I heard my phone go all crazy on me. It was Tasneem.
Tas: Wake up!
Tas: He replied!
Tas: I hope to God you aren’t sleeping!
Tas: I can’t contain my emotions right now!
Tas: Wake up woman!
Tas: DON’T MAKE ME COME THERE AND DRAG YOU OUT OF BED MYSELF!!!!
As silly as this sounds, Tasneem’s chats scare me sometimes. In real life she might be this sweet and innocent Apa, but over chat… Hmph… This chick is a GANGSTA!!! She WILL murder you with those exclamations and caps lock of hers…
Me: *waves my peace flag*
Me: *gets up with my hands in the air*
Me: I wasn’t sleeping… I swear!!
Tas: Shukar Alhumdulilah! I thought I was going to die with all this enthusiasm and excitement inside me.
Me: And I thought I was going to die. Period!
Me: My phone started vibrating with all your messages. I thought it was having a fit and was about to explode!
Tas: *can’t watch* sorry Lol
Tas: I just HAD TO… He finally replied.
Me: Aha… And???
Tas: He is so wow’d by everything…
Tas: And wants to keep everything halaal, so he asked if it’s Ok with you, that he speak to his parents about it first.
Tas: Nusi… I actually want to cry right now.
Tas: My eyes literally have tears forming.
Tas: Is it Ok with you if he tells his parents about you?
Sadeekun, in that moment I just froze. Was I dreaming? Was a guy ACTUALLY asking if it was Ok to tell his parents about me?? That’s like… Every girls biggest dream come true.
Me: It’s ok … I got butterflies lol not sure why.
Me: And why are you so teary eyed? Lol *hands you a tissue*
Tas: Coz I can’t believe this… Its like so sweet and romantic and if you two work out… Gosh… My heart will be musssssh
Me: Sweet and romantic? Lol I feel like a teen again now.
Tas: Yeah I mean… Have you ever heard of another guy who hasn’t spoken to or seen you yet but wants to tell his parents about you? I mean… Wwow
She was right Sadeekun. Things like that only happen in fairy tales. The only unbelievable love stories that was actually a reality, was the romantic stories of the Prophet (S.A.W) and his wives.
Me: Yeah … that’s true … It IS kinda sweet.
Tas: Aren’t you curious to know what he looks like?
Tas: Where is your sense of adventure woman?
Me: I don’t know. I guess I’m scared to put a face to this story because it will just make it all more real. You know what I mean?
Me: Like… If it doesn’t work out, it will just hurt more.
Me: Besides, I thought you said you didn’t know what he looked like.
Tas: Well, I don’t know EXACTLY what he looks like… Coz the pictures he does post up is off him looking at scenery so his pics are always of the back of his head. If you said yes, I was going to send you that lmao
Me: Lol oooooooh. Well what am I gonna look at the back of his head for?
Tas: hahaha… When you put it that way… hahaha
Tas: Well you could’ve used your imagination!
Me: Lol Ai Nemo 😂 want to send me the back of his head lol I’m dying here!
Tas: I told him you’re cool with telling his parents and that if he wants to know anything he should ask.
Me: No problem… you’re our middle man.
Tas: If you’ll get married… You better not tell him I did this…
Tas: But anyway…
Tas: Just to give you some kind of idea of his built.
She actually did it Sadeekun. She sent me the back of his head! I told you this chick is gangsta!
Me: I have no words…
Tas: Wow, without even seeing his face?
Me: No man! Not for him… For you! You’re just too much. Remind me again why I decided to adopt you as my bff?
Tas: I’d say coz you were drunk, but then I’d just be insulting myself as well.
Me: Lol… Mad child.
Tas: Let’s say if he lives out of the country… Would you still be interested?
Me: Out of the country? Where on earth?
Tas: I don’t know… I’ll ask.
Me: Well… yeah I would.
Tas: So even somalia… You’d go?
Tas: I’m just teasing… Relax… He don’t live there.
Me: Omg I almost told you to stop everything!
Me: Don’t tease like that lol
Tas: hahaha sies…. Ima tel him you said you wouldn’t mind if he has a medical condition but you refuse to put up with somalia😂😂😂😂
Me: Lol don’t you dare! I wouldn’t be happy to leave my family and move so far away!
Tas: Don’t you want to know about him though?
Tas: I can’t believe the two of you are interested in each other without knowing each others names.
Eh Sadeekun… That awkward moment when you realise you don’t know your future husbands name.
Me: Lol lol lol I never even think of that!
Tas: Bum hahaha
Me: So what is his name? I can’t keep calling him “him” lol
I know this is weird… But for a second, I actually pictured me calling his name when he comes home from work. I need to calm myself before I end up breaking my own heart. This can’t even be called a samoosa run, leave alone a proposal, and I’m already picturing married life.
Tas: I’m going to send you his messages because there is no other way of telling you what he said without taking away from the essence of it.
[21:58] Riaz: About The Questions From My Side, Uhmm, To Be Honest, My Personal Opinion Is That I’d Rather She Know More About Me First.
[22:03] Riaz: Let Me Try Explaining A Bit Further What I Mean By That
[22:10] Riaz: So Basically, What I Feel, Is That I’m Generally Willing To Accept Any Person Into My Life Whose Mentality Is Positive And Whose Always Willing To Improve Themselves, Physically, Mentally, And Most Importantly, Spiritually (Externally And Internally) That’s Pretty Much All The ‘Requirements’ From My Side.
[22:14] Riaz: On The Flip Side, I’m Much More Concerned With What SHE Wants From Me, As I Personally Want HER To Be Much More Comfortable With This Whole Procedure, From The Onset Itself, Makes Sense?
Tas: Seems like you’d be perfect for him.
Me: He sounds super intelligent though *shy*
Tas: What he described was so totally you.
Me: You think so?
Me: We’ll have to see … Allah knows best and I trust that whatever is meant for me will get to me when Allah wants it to.
Tas: I’m so proud of you my lovely.
Tas: BTW… He says he wants to first tell his parents about this BEFORE the whole asking questions part.
Tas: I first thought that, that was crazy and asked him “Don’t you guys want to at least know the basics about each other? Otherwise what do you’ll tell youlls parents? A guy/girl is interested in me and I don’t know his name or where he stays or what he does or anything about him at all.”
Tas: His reply stunned me… I actually felt like an idiot after reading it…
[22:25] Riaz: Lol Well Uhmm, Basically How I Was Thinking Of It, Is Telling My Parents That There’s A Situation Of Interest Where We Want To Know Each Other Better, Do We Have Your Consent To Do So And How Do You Advise We Go About It?
Me: Wow… I agree that sounds like a good idea.
Tas: I think so too.
Tas: He said he’ll let me know by end of weekend of his parents response.
Me: *thumbs up*
Tas: In the mean time I suggest you talk to your parents about it too.
Me: I did… Well to Mum. And she gave me the green light.
Tas: But I think you should talk to your Dad as well. I don’t want him to think you and Mum are going behind his back.
Me: Hold on… I think he just got home now. Something seems to be going on. I saw Mum leave the room now with a packed suitcase. We chat in a bit alright?
I went downstairs to quickly see what was going on. Dad seemed to be in a terrible state, demanding that Mum give him his suitcase so that he could leave. My heart started pounding! Was Mum and Dad having marital problems? Was that the reason why Dad has been staying at work till late every night? I stood at the bottom of the staircase and waited to see how things would play out. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t as scared as hell!
“Calm down! I’ll give you your suitcase, but after you sit down and have something to eat. I’ve already made the food hot. Just… sit down.”, Mum said, managing to talk Dad into going to the dining room.
In all that, Luqmaan came downstairs to see what the commotion was about. “What’s going on?”, he asked me. “I don’t know. I think they’re fighting.” I told him, the worry apparent on my face. “Agh! They’ll get over it. I’m going back to sleep. I got work in the morning.”, Luqmaan said before dragging himself back upstairs. I couldn’t help but be very annoyed and irritated with him. He only seems to care about us if he thinks someone is sick, or dying. Too bad Mum and Dad are renting and don’t own their own home, or Luqmaan would be kissing their butts so that they leave everything in his name. Idiot!
“Uhm… Is… everything ok?” I asked, making my presence known in the dining room. “Everything is fine sweety. Don’t worry.” Mum said, noticing that my eyes were beginning to swell with tears that were forming. I wasn’t sure if I was welcome to stay or if I should’ve left, so I just stood there. “Do you want to have a bite?” Mum asked me. “Are you two getting divorced?” I asked straight out. Mum and Dad looked at each other blankly and then back at me. “What makes you think that?” Dad asked me curiously. I pointed to the suitcase, which just made Dad chuckle.
“Nice… Laugh at my concern.” I thought to myself. “You know, just because we raise our voices every now and then, doesn’t mean we’re fighting with each other.” Dad said, pointing his chip at me and then taking a bite from it. “Then what’s with the suitcase?”, I asked, pulling up a chair next to him just as Mum scolded, “Nusaybah! What have I told you about being nosey?”
I shrugged and gave mum a ‘well-now-you’ll-owe-me-an-explanation’ look. “The truck that was supposed to bring the stock in tonight, broke down almost 7 hours away from here and your father wants to act like a hero and run to the rescue.” Mum explained, “The suitcase is in case he has to stay the night. But what I’m trying to explain to him is that if he leaves now, there really isn’t much he can do.”
I looked at Dad and said, “Mum has a point you know. What WILL you do? Push the truck?”. Dad raised an eyebrow at my sarcastic comment. “If you leave in the morning you can at least do a proper hand over to one of the guys at work and you can get some back up to bring the stock if the truck isn’t ready in time.” Mum told him. Dad ate quietly for a while and Mum and I didn’t say anything further. I actually got so bored with the silence that I started nibbling on some slap chips.
“Your Mum just knows how to have her ways with me. She first feeds me, to get my brain functioning again, then she slaps me with common sense.” Dad said, looking at me and then smiling at Mum. “Learn from your mother. You won’t go wrong and your husband will adore you.” Dad advised, flattering Mum very much. “Speaking of husbands… “, I used this as an opportunity to bring up the whole Riaz thing. I explained to Dad what was going on and looked at him blankly, waiting for a response.
“I see… So you’re basically asking me for permission to talk to a guy you don’t know over chat to find out if he wants to marry you?”, Dad said, making it sound like a really dumb thing to do. “Well isn’t that what you’ll make me do every time you’ll bring some loser home for Samoosa Runs? Besides, at least this guy won’t know where I live, so he can’t kidnap me or anything. Plus if you want to go chase him with a gun, Tasneem knows someone who knows his father personally. So he isn’t a total stranger stranger… If you know what I mean. “, I raised an eyebrow. Dad thought for a bit and then agreed that I can go ahead, as long as I keep them in the loop about everything.
I couldn’t wait to tell Nemo!
Me: My parents and I accept your invitation to learn more about this foreign stranger of yours in the most halal way possible.
Me: My father also demands to know his physical address in case of emergency (i.e in case he needs to kill him)
Tas: Oh… my… God!!!
Tas: OMG! I can’t believe this is happening!
Tas: OMG! Now just for his parents reply.
Tas: OMG! :D
Me: What OMG?! Say Alhumdulilah…
Me: Masha-Allah… Let me leave you to your zikr. We chat first thing in the morning In-Sha-Allah ok? I’m sleepy now.
Little did I know, Tasneem took the ‘first thing in the morning’ part quite literally. I woke up to her 17 messages at 4:30am the next morning.
>>>Hope you guys are reading all the way to the end…
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
“There should be no nikaah (marriage contract) except with a wali (guardian).” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. It is saheeh, as stated in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel,6/235, by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him)
“Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If her husband has consummated the marriage, then the mahr belongs to her in return for that. If she does not have a wali then the (Muslim) ruler is the wali of anyone who does not have a wali.” (Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879).
It is not permissible for the walee to refuse marriage because the prospective husband does not follow his manhaj of da’wah, or because he is not of his tribe or from his country. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to marry religious people and not to refuse them, otherwise corruption and tribulation would be the result.
Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If someone whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you proposes marriage, then marry [your female relative under your charge] to him. If you do not do that, there will be tribulation in the land and much corruption.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him, in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah. 1022).
By the same token, it is not permissible for a woman to justify a marriage to whomever she wishes on the grounds that this person is following the same manhaj of da’wah. It is sufficient for her that the person who is proposing marriage is religiously committed and has a good attitude.
And all parties concerned should remember that their Lord, may He be blessed and exalted, is always watching them.
StaY TuNEd FoR MoRe FrOm NusAYbAh’SvEry dIffErEnT SaMOosA RuN<<<