17#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER – Season 4]

{A CIIYF Production}

Habibi Sadeekun… (Beloved Friend)

“Stanley worked for…”, My eyes widened as the name left Asghar’s lips. “…Zuhayr”, It’s like my heart stopped beating for a second. “But why? I thought we? How could? I don’t understand!”, I sat on the curb and burried my head in my hands. Asghar sat next to me, “I guess it’s time to find out.”, he said. “At this hour? No, leave it. The baby must be asleep now.”, I said, fighting everything inside me from going over there  right this minute. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. Aneesa and the baby.”, Asghar looked at me seriously. “Well, what about them?”, I was clueless on how they fit into all of this. “If this came out, they could get hurt. Aneesa will have marital problems and the baby could lose his father, or worse, his mother! It’s been the only thing holding me back ever since i’ve found out.”, as Asghar said those words, something came to mind. This baby could lose not only his parents, but his dignity when Zuhayr leaves Aneesa and then blabs to the world that he isn’t the child’s real father. Poor Aneesa will be crushed even more. I didn’t know what to do Sadeekun, I just sat there, deep in thought. As much as I wanted answers, I didn’t want to destroy everything Aneesa and Zuhayr have built over the past 2 years.

Eventually I went back inside with Asghar. We agreed to sleep on it before making any decisions that we would regret. I couldn’t sleep though. I tossed and turned all night. Zuhayr was such a pure soul, I tried thinking of anything that could make him look better in this situation, but it didn’t work. All fingers kept pointing at him. I just couldn’t figure out why he would be involved…

Eventually I fell asleep for a few minutes before waking up again in a shock. I thought I was late for work but quickly realised that it was my weekend off. I got up anyway and had a shower, just in time for fajr salaah. Who better to get answers from other than Almighty Allah, Knower of EVERYTHING. All I needed was some sign of some sort. It had been a habit of mine ever since that dreadful night, to not only read the Qur’an, but understand it as well. Every weekend I’d read the translation of a few pages and research the history behind it. It’s truly interesting and very very exciting yet scary at the same time! It’s amazing how we are warned of the wrath of Allah and the consequences of our actions, but are constantly reminded throughout the Qur’an that Allah is oft-forgivng and Most Merciful.

I opened to where I had last left off and as I read on, something amazing happened. It was as if Allah was talking to me through that verse-

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.” [49:12]

My eyes filled with tears as I repeated “Subhan-Allah” over and over again out loud. There are no words I can find to describe how I felt in that moment. I wasn’t alone like I thought I was, Allah has always been with me, and He is all I need.

I decided to start fresh and clear my mind. Taking a morning jog with Surah Yaseen playing in my ears always helped do just that! Hearing the words of Allah was a constant reminder not to disobey Him and let my eyes wander. Boy did I need the guidance!

When I got back to the hotel, I saw Zaid standing outside his door, in the corridor. “What’s the matter bra?”, I asked. He didn’t look so happy. “Na nothing”, he replied. “Cum’on man, you’re standing in the hallway, reading a book and you’re telling me it’s nothing?”, I said in an ‘are-you-serious?’ tone of voice. He looked over at the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door and said, “Brian has his girlfriend over.”. “What?! Does he do this often?”, I asked, shocked that he’d do that even though he knew there were 5 other people who lived there too. Zaid nodded his head, “The other guys get quite annoyed too.”. “Who does he share a room with?”, I was hoping he wouldn’t say Fayaaz. I could swear I sometimes smell alcohol on him. “Unfortunately, he shares with me!”, Zaid sat on the floor and sulked. Just then, I had an idea! I wasn’t happy with my roomate, and he wasn’t happy with his roomate, it was a perfect swap!!

As soon as the blonde girl with messy hair left, blowing kisses to Brian, I went in to convince him to let me have his room and he take mine. I didn’t even need to say much before he said, “Yeah that’s great! I’m sick of this guy waking up early and switching the light on”. “I told you I was praying!”, Zaid jumped in. “Ya well pray when I’m not here.”, Brian clicked his tongue. Zaid was ready to give him a tongue lashing, but I pulled him back and agreed to move Brian’s things to the other suite.

After getting the cleaner to spring-clean the entire suite, I finally moved in. I felt so calm and relaxed. No more nonsense, no more fighting. Just me and my neat freak roomate.

Although I tried keeping my mind occupied all day, something bugged me. As much as I tried to forget what Asghar said, a voice in my head kept telling me Zuhayr had something to  do with what happened. The only way forward now was to just confront Zuhayr. I believe he is innocent, I just need his word to back it so that my heart can be at ease. I don’t want to constantly be doubting him.

I called Asghar and asked him to meet me at Zuhayr’s shop. I wanted to clear the air so that Asghar doesn’t think ill of his brother-in-law either. I got in my car and drove off. The whole way, all I could think about was  how I was going to ask this question without Zuhayr taking offense.

When I reached there, he was busy closing up shop. I watched him in his bright white kurta and stared at his even brighter face. This guy really had noor. I suddenly felt stupid for going there and even more stupid for what I was about to ask. Asghar walked up  to me tapping his watch and said, “Bra make it fast! I have to make a delivery before 6, I only  have a few minutes”.

“Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatulahi Wa Barakaatu. How are you my brothers?”, Zuhayr greeted with so much respect. After all the formalities, I got straight to the point, “Bhai, I’m trying to find answers. I just came to find out if you know anything about the night I… You know… Went off my head”. Zuhayr looked at us and nodded, “To be honest, I truly believed you were affected by the jinn that night. But a few weeks later I overheard one of my ex-employees talking about you but I didn’t say anything to anyone. Who am I to judge?”. The moment Asghar looked at me, I knew we were both thinking the same thing- it was time to just drop this whole thing. I didn’t ask any further questions. Asghar made small talk for another few minutes before he rushed off. Zuhayr was ready to leave too.

As he sat in his car, I thanked him and apologised if I said anything that offended him. He smiled, shook my hand and said, “Don’t apologise. It was me who gave Stanley orders that night…”
My jaw hit the ground!!! I was now filled with rage!

[To Be Continued…]


>>>AnD thE ploT thIckens!! shAre Your tHouGhts BeloW!

“And when My servants ask you , [ O Muhammad ], concerning Me , indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me . So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly ] guided. ” (Qur’an 2:186)

“Whoever relieves a calamity that has struck a believer in this world, Allah will relieve for him one of the calamities of the day of Judgement, and whoever makes things easy for a person in trouble, Allah will make his matters easy in this life and in the hereafter, and whoever shields the faults of a Muslim, Allah will shield his faults in this world and the hereafter, and Allah will help and support his servant as long as he is helping and supporting his brother” (Sahih Muslim)

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal
sexual intercourse ___ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.” [Qur’an 25:68]

“The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; [Qur’an 25:69]

Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah
is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [Qur’an 25:70]

If you’ve read up to this point, comment below. Need to see how many read for fun and how many actually read to learn something.

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “Beware of suspicion, for it is the worst of false tales and don’t look for the other’s faults and don’t spy and don’t hate each other, and don’t desert (cut your relations with)
one another. O Allah’s slaves, be brothers!” (Sahih Al Bukhari)

WaTch ThiS spaCe fOr MorE<<<


8 thoughts on “17#[THE DIARY OF A SINNER – Season 4]

  1. Slmz.I feel like I’ve missed a post. Wat happened on wat night? Please refer me to the post about sayf going crazy. Maybe my brain is just dead.lol


  2. I actually forgot who Zuhayr is :/
    I’ve been loving the posts, but honestly each time a new one is posted, I have to go back to the previous 1 to refresh my memory of what happened.
    There’s just a long gap between posts


  3. I always read till the end:)
    Jzkallah for the lovely blog. I’ve started reading it about a week ago and it has really good lessons


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